North Korea Sentences Trump To Death

North Korea lashed out at President Donald Trump Wednesday, declaring that he has been “sentenced to death.”

During the president’s address in South Korea, he “painted a black picture of the [Democratic People’s Republic of Korea], spouting all sorts of rubbish against it,” North Korean state media asserted. Trump’s “worst crime,” though, “is that he dared malignantly hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK,” the Rodong Sinmun asserted, appearing to reference his tweet, which suggestedthat the noticeably pudgy despot is “short and fat.”

Asserting that Trump “can never be pardoned,” the North stressed that the president is “a hideous criminal sentenced to death by the Korean People.” The state-run outlet called Trump an “old lunatic, mean trickster, and human reject.”

“He will be forced to pay dearly for his blasphemy,” the Rodong Sinmun wrote, further asserting, “The Korean people will regard the face of Trump as a symbol of wolf-like U.S. imperialism and as a target of merciless retaliation.” The North threatened to “send him to the hell he likes so much to tout,” a reference to the president’s speech, during which Trump called North Korea a “hell that no one deserves.”

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